Tempero’s Co-Founder, and mother of two, says her children don’t feature on any social networks.
Facebook feeds are crammed with pictures of pets, NSFW links, holiday snaps, and of course, babies in all stages of growth. As The Telegraph found in a survey last summer, many new parents are uploading the first photos of their newly-born children within an hour of making their grand entries, whilst one in five parents said they upload photos in order to ‘better other parents’ photos’.
Of course, it’s only natural as proud parents to want to document and share every amazing moment of your child’s life, but there is a serious side to this too. Jasmine McGarr, Director and Co-Founder of Tempero, and mother of two children aged two and four tells us why neither of her children have appeared, to her knowledge, on any social network, or publicly on the wider web.
1. Why have you taken the decision not to allow any photos of your children on social networks?
As one of the founders of Tempero I’ve spent over 10 years looking at safeguarding children and young people online and working with brands to ensure social activity that is aimed or likely to attract children has the right protections and safeguards in place.
Transferring this knowledge into being a parent has been tough and I’ve made the personal decision not to upload any photos of my children on social networks for a number of reasons. The main one for me is obviously for protection reasons; it’s easy to get carried away in uploading pictures, without properly thinking about what the images contain, how wide your network is and whether you have the right filters in place on your profile to control access.
My other reason, and again this is my personal decision as a parent, is concerning their rights and permissions. When my children are older I want them to make their own informed decisions about what information they want to disclose on social networks. For example I could perceive a photo to be “cute” or “funny” when I upload it – but years later it could lead to embarrassment or something more serious like bullying.
2. Is it just photos that you don’t allow? Or any mention of your children at all?
I’ve made the decision mainly around photos, but I try to avoid any personal/detailed mention of my children. For example, I may say I have two children, but I would take particular care in mentioning their names, schools or any further identifiable information.
3. Do you allow your friends and family to take photos? And trust them not to post them up? Or do they agree not to take pictures of your children, full stop?
Yes of course; most people are very respectful of permissions and would ask if they wanted to put them on a social network. I think people are much more aware of safeguarding and parental choices.
4. What about at school? Has it been hard keeping pictures of your children off social websites?
Both of my children’s schools have demonstrated responsibility and asked for permission to publish any pictures of children in their care on their websites or in marketing material. Schools are very conscious of parents’ decisions on this. For example, in both our nativity plays this year, teachers have said parents can take pictures but have requested they do not upload these pictures/videos onto social networks.
However in talking to other parents it does seem to differ across schools. Some schools are going as far as preventing any photos of school plays and/or are only allowing a private photo of your child in their costume off stage. It’s a very difficult time for schools as they set policies around social media.
5. How difficult has it been to give your children total anonymity?
As my children are still very young it’s easier to control, but with the speed and ease of social media it becomes harder. It’s very much an evolving process of decision making, as children get older and social media becomes part of their every day. I wouldn’t want them to fear it, social media and the wider internet is incredibly educational for them but as a parent it’s about teaching them to use it safely and always to protect their personal information.
6. Have you ever had any negative sentiment towards your decision? From strangers or from friends and family?
No I think it opens an interesting debate, everyone has a different opinion on it and in many cases parents feel misinformed and unsure of ways in which to secure their content and profiles. As parents, teachers or providers we all have the protection of children in our hearts and every discussion helps other parents make more informed decisions about the safety of children.
7. Are there any other benefits of not posting photos of your children online?
Yes – you don’t bore your friends!
8. When would you allow your children to appear on social networks?
When I feel that they’re old enough to make their own informed decisions. There are many great social networks out there aimed specifically at children where there are good safety measures in place, for example Club Penguin and GYGGL (launching next year) which is a social networking site with a focus on creativity and, above all, safety for the young people who join.
It’s important to make responsible decisions as a parent, for example setting up parental filtering software and educating children around online safety. It’s important to spend time with your children online so it doesn’t become secretive or a world their parents know nothing about.
9. Do you think there are psychological implications of children growing up without anonymity?
Difficult question – but yes there probably are. I think if we look back across all of our lives I think there are many things we regret and would rather not be reminded of. I would be mortified if all my friends and colleagues saw pictures of me as an awkward, geeky teenager. And I’m sure my colleagues now would love being able to dig them out and humiliate me at work.
For our children’s generation their social footprint is beginning from the moment they enter the world, even in some cases from the moment they enter their mum’s tummy! Everything is documented, pictured and commented on – so yes I think to some extent it’s good to have a level of anonymity. I think we do have to think about how something innocent and seemingly funny now could lead to future implications for our children.
10. Is there a good way for parents who have already posted photos of their children to take these down?
Most social networking sites allow users the ability to remove photos, change permissions or completely close accounts. For example you may choose to make some photos available to smaller groups of close friends and family. But the truth is once it’s out there it’s out there and it’s pretty hard to remove every trace, permanently.
I’d also recommend checking what photos an unlinked account can find by searching too. On Facebook, the ‘’ option allows you to see what a member of the public can see of your Facebook page – which is really useful for checking and can be pretty eye-opening.
11. What tips / advice would you give to parents who post photos of their children online?
Make sure you upload them to secure sites, look at your account permissions; do you want them open to everyone, to all your friends/work colleagues or to a smaller group of close friends/family?
Facebook also offers the ability to customize settings for individual uploads now too, so you can share that picture of your work colleague dressed as Santa with everyone, but make sure that only friends can see images of your children. If you’re not sure – ask someone for help.
Think about what you post, think about how your children will feel when they’re older and look back, could it lead to anything negative at school, bullying, future relationships, job prospects in later life, etc.
12. Have you already secured your children’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram accounts and saved a URL for them? Many parents apparently have all these secured from their child’s birth.
Really… that’s amazing? No I haven’t, social media is evolving so quickly but I think it will be something they can enjoy doing when they’re at the correct age and better informed to use it.
13. And finally, are there any disadvantages of NOT sharing photos of your children online? Do some of your family who perhaps live abroad and depend on social networks such as Facebook miss out?
Yes I’m sure there are and I’m sure many of my friends and family would love to keep up with them online. But in my opinion nothing beats a face to face meeting. For the time being I’d like to keep it that way, until I feel they are old enough to make the right decisions.
There are many options for parents out there, some parents have their own secure site where they upload pictures of their children which are password protected, and the family can log in when they want to.
[Featured image by and not one of Jasmine McGarr's children!]
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My sister has a 2 year old and refuses to put pictures or videos of her daughter up on Facebook. Although it’s the only social network she uses, she has a real fear for the safety and the security of the internet. If friends or other family members add a photo of my niece she refuses to have her name or her partner’s name tagged within it. I understand her fear, I work in social media, my role of being a Community Manager, so I do see, have seen and read about being safe and secure online.
It doesn’t bother me the amount of times someone posts another picture of their baby and my sister ‘likes’ their pictures, when others do to, her fear of ‘not knowing’ the full in’s & outs’ of it all scares her to just be extra careful and just not.
My niece can work her way around my iPad brilliantly, better than I, but having child safety on it, prevents her from getting to places she can’t and shouldn’t be. Everyone has different reasons for their children not to be online, through taking pictures themselves or not sharing at all. I agree it’s important to make responsible decisions as a parent, but should they feel the need to explain their reasons why?
Great post by the way. Thanks for sharing.